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What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

14.06.2025 01:38

What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What are the best Jewish jokes?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

There was this one weird Bollywood movie that was released in the 2000s. Amitabh Bachchan was starring with another actress and the story was about how the old guy (Amitabh Bachchan) fell in love with the young woman. What is the name of this movie?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What do you mean son?

What kind of person does a narcissist hate?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

True - how I loved my mum!

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“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Do you know what she said mum?

Do you consider yourself pretty?

What! how could you do that?